I am heaven itself, even if i have thunderstorms
by SuenaSweetDream
Summary: This is Hera's life from her point of view. Beware, Hera's sadness, pain and lies are waiting for you in this story.
1. Telling him

Hera POV

'That's all I am, a extra nymph, a extra pleasure.' I thought.

'I am just a nymph on the run, running away from the world to be his slave.

While everybody enjoys their lives, I am prisoner in his life. A waist of time. Maybe he doesn't want me anymore because I want him for myself.

Because I care about him like porcelain doll, like my own baby who I don't want to let go of and lose.

Huh, how funny. My prisoners are the prisoners of a prisoner. Because that's what I am a prisoner in my own house, or my husband's/brother's house.

I am a prisoner who wants her master to herself. I am just a body to him, without a heart or a mind which means he thinks I don't have feelings.

I gave him one child, maybe two in 9 months. But he doesn't know or care, because I am just a body to him.

The one body he can have at any time. He can order me to do something whenever he wants. That's why he chose me a hundred years ago.

Because he knew I would do anything for him no matter what as long as he didn't tell anybody why I married him. But who cares now. He rapped me, here I just told.

I married him to hide my shame. But still, I am just a body to him. I do his work while doing mine.

But I can't tell him because I feel something else. It use to be only a small part of me that told me don't do it.

But along the years, I realized it said more then that, I could hear it louder, and louder until it was screaming. I started hearing the words 'don't do it. You love him.'

I want to cry and scream, but I can't because I am a queen and queens don't express their feelings that way.

Right now, that thought is the only thing that keeps me alive. I have nobody but my little baby boy, Ares.

I can't talk to anybody because nobody trusts me anymore because I am the evil queen.'

As I was thinking I started crying really hard. My body sled down from the wall to the floor and it hurt so much thinking all those that I started pulling my at my hair to stop the pain of losing the one you love and your life. It wasn't and still isn't fair to me. Why couldn't I live a normal life. I wanted to kill myself. I wanted to break Zeus' bones one by one for creating this heartache. I loved him, I love him and I will always love him, but he never has, and never will. Maybe one day, I'll die from this heartache and have some peace and quiet.

At that moment, pain took over me. My belly was hurting like something was being taken out of it while still keeping everything in it. I knew what that was. From my emotions and my thoughts of suicide, my baby ( now I was sure I was pregnant) was dying. It was going away, like Zeus does every day and Ares will when he forgets about everything I have done for him. It hurt to much. I started screaming out of pain in my belly and the pain in my heart.

A mistress came inside of my room when she heard me scream. When she saw me like that curled up in the floor, my face red, my face sweating, my hair all messy and my belly bleeding she called for Apollo.

-No, don't call him.-I managed to tell her.- I don't want help, I don't want to live. I can't! Ah!- I screamed so hard. My heart felt like it got destroyed in flames and soon so did my baby. Then he was right. I didn't have feelings anymore because my heart burned down, or so I believed. If don't have feeling anymore, why am I crying here in front of my window, looking down at him kissing a nymph. It has been only one day since our baby died without even being born, and look at him. I can't bear it anymore. I started crying again. I cried my heart out afraid to look at him kissing that nymph. I cried and cried and cried for what seemed like hours. When I ran out of tears for tonight, I started whispering to myself, thinking it would make me feel better.

-Why Zeus? Why me? Why did you have to take me and then kill me from inside out. Why? Why am I just a victim of your eyes? Of your voice and touch? Why did you have to ruin my live? Why did you have to take my heart away and cut it into pieces every night you live me alone?- I started crying again. But I kept talking. I had to get those feelings out of me. I hugged my legs and kept whispering:

-You don't love me Zeus, but again you took my heart away and used it as one of your other hearts. But I am different aren't I? I am different because you use me whenever you want to and I won't complain. But it wasn't enough for you was it? You also had to drop my heart to the floor to get broken, then use the pieces to get other women. Why am I not enough for you Zeus? Why did I fall in love with you? I just need you to answer that one question. Why did you choose me? Did I ever do something to you or ask for to much? Was asking for your love to much?- As I finished whispering those words, Ares started crying. I got up and went to his crib. As I was holding him, I saw him looking at something behind me. I guess it scared him, whatever or whoever it was. I turned around to see Zeus staring at me and Ares like he just saw us for the first time. Maybe he did see Ares for the first time, who knows what that man does every day.

-Come here.- He said in serious voice. -Leave the baby in the crib.- He added. Ares had stopped crying and was looking at me with curious and sleepy eyes. I put him in his crib and tucked him before he closed his eyes and was fast asleep. I walked near Zeus. He took my arm and made a sign for me to follow him without complain. I did as he signed me to do. We went into his bedchambers and he told me to wait. As he walked outside I took a moment to look around from where I was. I sat down on the corner of the bed as a few minutes passed. When Zeus came back I was laying down asleep. he shook my arm and I woke up.

-I'm sorry my lord. I- I couldn't finish my sentence because he cut me of by raising his hand in a silence gesture. He sat down next to me and hugged me so my head was on his chest. I almost started crying again because I could smell the other woman's perfume and see her lipstick on my husband's neck.

-Why Hera? Why do you ask questions about things I don't have the answer to? Why do torture yourself crying for me? Why, αγάπη μου?* You know I can't answer those questions. But can you answer my question?- When he said those words I started crying in his chest. Sweet Gaia, that felt so good. Crying my pain for him on his chest.

-Because I fell for you while you keep lying to me. Because you say you love me but you keep going out with other women and still calling me your love. Why did you choose me to kill a little every day? Why me Zeus?- I managed to say while crying. I forgot that he was listening and told him everything I wanted to say. All the thoughts abouot him that made me cry were spilled in front of him, screaming I love you but you don't to him. When I was done, I was out of breath. It was really hard crying and talking at the same time. But he didn't care about how hard it was to talk and cry, he cared about how hard it was to talk about your feelings. He kissed me on the lips and looked deep into my eyes.

-I am so sorry. I never knew I was hurting you so much. I love you too. But I never thought you loved me so I tried to forget by trying to find others who looked like you. But you know, none of them kisses me the way you do, or says my name with so much love, or cries about me. None of them asked for my love, only for fame. But none was like you. I can look all around the world and none will ever take you place.- When he said that I kissed him in a way that said you took the words out of my mouth.

**_TO BE CONTINUED..._**


	2. Goodbye my almost lover

**_Hera POV (in thoughts)_**

_'Images,_ _all my life is images that connect and make one image, one life, one sad goodbye. That is all my life is, one image of a life made out of sad goodbyes. That is all he thinks our love is a image of sad goodbyes. For my opinion, life is just a sad goodbye. One sad goodbye created by lies, pain, and torture mostly torture. That is what my life is. A image of a sad goodbye made out of lies, pain and torture. So much torture. Why me, dear husband, why did you have to have to lie to me and torture me? Make my life a big pain in the heart? Why did you have to give me a heartache? Why? I love you with all my heart, and I am your sister, your wife and your lover. But, no. You may be my husband and brother, but will always be my almost lover. I have only a few more words to say to you about braking my heart and killing me with your lies. Goodbye my almost lover. Say hello to just a doll with a porcelain heart. Because my heart is gone, gone, dead in the hands of Θανατος*. At least you don't control my heart anymore, so don't expect me to cry because you are not in my bed with me, and you don't have anymore children with me anymore. I gave a wonderful son, you made him devil itself. I gave four daughters, they cry because you don't care about them. But NO. My children do NOT need you to grow up. I am their mother, and I will always be. I will be their mother and their father. No, I will be their mommy and their daddy. They will call me mommy for the rest of their lives and will teach their children what I have taught them. That you don't need a perfect life or marriage to have perfect kids and perfect family. Only the love of a mother. Only the knowledge of a mother's prayer.'_

I thought those thoughts over and over as I walked to the throne room to rule over Greece and Olympus, but mostly to show my "missing" husband that I can live without him. I opened the giant golden doors and walked to my throne with my head to the sky and my eyes on my power. I sat on my throne and felt the coldness of my husband not being there but I ignored the coldness and just kept ruling and living without him.

_'Who needs him, when I can take care of myself and not just Greece and Olympus, but the whole world perfectly.'_ Those were my last thoughts to myself before I turned my attention to my kingdom.

**Remember, the words in Italic are her thoughts. They don't have to be perfect writing, just thoughts.**

* Θανατος= means death in Greek.


End file.
